


Hate Me

by whytekatt



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whytekatt/pseuds/whytekatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reno's worried about his boss after he takes teasing a captive too far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate Me

**Author's Note:**

> Another old thing - probably one of my favorites. Another song-fic - this time using "Hate Me" by Blue October.

The phone rang.  He just stared at it, as if it were a foreign object, his bright blue eyes seeming to glow in the darkness of the lonely office.  It continued to ring until the machine picked up.  His own recorded voice echoed through the large office, bouncing off of empty walls and hollow pictures until the beep came.  “Sir?  Are you there?  None of us have seen you in days.”  The voice belonged to one of his senior turks, Tseng.  “Sir, Reno’s been asking about you.  Are you ok?  We’re all really worried.”  There was a long pause and the voice on the other line sighed, “I guess you’re screening your calls.  Please, sir, don’t do anything irrational,” and the line clicked.  Rufus now stared at the blinking one on his machine and then erased the message without listening to it again.

_(Hey, Just, this is your mother.  I was just calling to see how you were doing.  You sounded really uptight last night; made me a little nervous.  I just wanna make sure you were really ok…And…Wanted to see if you were checked in on your medications, too.  You know I love ya.  See yah.  Buh bye.)_

Reno was pacing his dirty apartment, waiting for Tseng to return his call.  He was so lost in thought that he jumped when the phone actually did ring.  “Did you talk to him?”  There was silence on the other side of the line.  “He still won’t pick up will he?”  Reno let out a frustrated sigh.  “What exactly did you do to him that has pissed him off so much, Reno?”  Reno didn’t exactly answer right away, as he turned his attention to a small mouse tail that was peaking out of a half eaten bag of potato chips.  “To tell you the truth, Tseng, I’m not really sure.  I mean, hell, I’m sure he was pleased that we had finally caught Cloud, and I was only teasing…” Reno trailed off.  “You’re a dumb ass sometimes, I hope you know.”  Reno scoffed at the older turk on the phone, “Whatever…It’s late, I’m going to try to get some sleep.”  Once quick good-byes were said, Reno hung up the phone, and was very quickly awake once again.  Suddenly, every night he had ever spent with Rufus flew threw this head.  The good nights, the bad nights, and even the nights where they didn’t do anything but sit on Rufus’ couch and watch some stupid movie that neither of them liked.  Reno collapsed to his knees, grabbing at his head, tears forming at his eyes.  It’d been a week since Rufus had actually wanted to talk to him, and anytime Reno would call, Rufus would ignore.  “Why are you playing games?!”  A tear made it’s was down his cheek as he watched a grotesque bug crawl across the couch.  He was very soon reminded of the first time Rufus had taken him, on that very couch, and the thought made him shutter.  He felt Rufus’ body on top of him, flesh on sweaty flesh.  The thought drove him insane.  He quickly stood, flicked the bug off the couch, and started cleaning up the place.  It was all he could do to keep himself sane.

_I have to block out thoughts of you_  
So I don’t lose my head  
They’re crawling like a cockroach,  
Leaving babies in my bed  
Dropping little reels of tape  
To remind me I’m alone  
Playing movies in my head  
That make a porno feel like home 

Rufus turned his large puffy chair away from the machine now, turning to look out the large window behind him.  The night sky was clear, except for the brightly sparkling stars and the well lit moon.  He peered out over the ocean, the reflections of the moon and stars bouncing off the motionless water, giving the illusion of two skies instead of one.  It was all he could do to keep himself from picking up the phone and dialing Reno’s apartment number.  He knew if he did that, Reno wouldn’t ever learn his mistake, though it was doubtful that Reno knew what he did in the first place.  Yeah, Reno might have only been teasing Cloud a bit, but did he really have to do it in front of him?  Rufus turned his head slightly to look back at the phone, but it didn’t ring.  He was doubtful that it would ring again tonight, and if it did, it would probably be Tseng again…Or Elena.  She always worried about his and Reno’s relationship, though he was never sure why.  There was never a dull moment when she was around.  Every morning when she brought in his first cup of coffee, the first words out of her mouth would always be, “Reno sends his love.”  He couldn’t help but smile.  He always meant it.  Any time there was a catastrophe and Rufus might get hurt or was hurt, Reno was the first one there to make sure he was ok, even if it was just a little paper cut from the damned copy machine.  And even when he wanted just some alone time, Reno always understood and would leave him alone until he came looking for him.  Now was one of those times, however, that he longed for Reno, but his pride stood in the way.  Rufus turned to look out over the ocean again, hoping the phone would ring just once more and that it would be Reno on the line.

_There’s a burning in my pride;_  
A nervous bleeding in my brain  
And unto peace is all I want for you  
But you’ll never call again  
And when you never say that you love me  
Just to put it in my face  
Then when you never tried to reach me  
It is I that wanted space 

For an hour, the phone didn’t ring, and Rufus gave up.  He took his jacket off the back of the chair and walked out of the office.  He headed towards the elevator after locking up, and made his way down to the garage below to make his way home.  Up in the office, as Rufus exited the elevator, the phone rang.  It rang until the machine picked it up.  Once again, Rufus’ voice echoed the office and was followed by a beep.  “Rufus…god…Rufus, I’m sorry.  If I’d of known, I wouldn’t have done it.”  The line clicked off.  A little one blinked, lighting up the office every half second or so, now waiting for Rufus to return in the morning.

_Hate me today_  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me so you can finally  
See what’s good for you 

Reno looked around his trashed apartment and was almost shocked by how many empty Jack bottles were laying around.  He was almost sickened at the thought that he had drunk that much since him and Rufus had been fighting.  He promised not only himself, but everyone that he would slow down and eventually make it to where he would only drink one or two a day.  Rufus had grown worried about him before, and started to lock up the cabinets and reduce his pay just so he couldn’t buy it.  Hell, if it weren’t for Rufus, he’d probably be dead on the floor from alcohol poisoning.  As he started to pick up the bottles, he was instantly taken back to the night Rufus found him on the floor, half dead.  Single handedly, he managed to drag Reno into the bathroom and into the tub to get him washed off and woken up.  He remembered waking up in Rufus’ arms, complete worry drowning out the usual softness of the blonde’s blue eyes.  It was that night that made Reno want to stop.  He realized that night that he might have died if it weren’t for Rufus, and he didn’t ever want to feel like he did, waking up and seeing love in the most SEVERE way.

_I’m sober now for three whole months_  
It’s one accomplishment that you helped me with  
The one thing that always tore us apart  
Is the one thing that I won’t touch again  
And in my sick way I want to thank you  
For holding my head up late at night  
While I was busy waging wars on myself  
You were trying to stop the fight 

The rain beat on the windows of Rufus’s white car.  The forecast hadn’t said anything about rain, but it wasn’t as uncommon as one would think.  He let out a sigh as the radio began to play yet another sad song.  As much as he wanted to turn it off, he couldn’t.  There really wasn’t anything else he wanted to listen to.  While the words rang through his car, he imagined himself careening off of the cliff that the road followed; his car splashing in the water beneath and slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean with the words being muffled by the water, both him and the radio finally dying out because of it.  It was thoughts like this that made both Rufus and Reno worry.  A small tear rolled down the blonde’s cheek as he imagined what the red-head would be saying to him if he ever voiced these opinions.  He shook his head, the words echoing through his mind; “Rufus!  Why would you ever want to do that?!  Do you not love me?”  Reno could always talk some sense into him…even if it took all night.  But, tonight, it seemed as if those thoughts would have to be washed away with the rain alone.  It crossed his mind several times to drive by Reno’s apartment and…Well…That was the question alright.  What WOULD he do?  Would he apologize to Reno for being so harsh or would he deck him right then and there and just get it over with?  At this point, he hadn’t realized it, but Rufus was sobbing.  Because of the blurry vision, he had no idea where he was, even though he had driven this road a million times.  When his car finally came to a stop, he didn’t dare look out the window.  Instead, he put the car in park and turned it off, crossing his arms over the steering wheel and placing his forehead on his forearm.  It was like this he sat, sobbing, outside the driveway of Reno’s apartment.

_You never doubted my warped opinions on_  
Things like suicidal hate  
You made me compliment myself  
When it was way too hard to take  
So I’ll drive so fucking far away  
That I never cross your mind  
And do whatever it takes in your heart  
To leave me behind 

If it wasn’t because Reno was sitting on the couch, staring into space at the half-ass cleaned apartment, he never would have noticed Rufus’s headlights.  Something jumped inside the red-head’s chest, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was.  A part of him wanted to run out and embrace the blonde and beg for his forgiveness.  Another part wanted to ignore him and see if he would drive off.  However, when the headlights turned off, Reno’s heart leapt in anticipation.  He was expecting the Rufus to knock on his door at any moment, but when it didn’t happen, his heart sank.  Was this just a test?  No.  Rufus wasn’t like that.  Reno quickly rushed to his door and swung it open.  Maybe it was because he was lost in his own thoughts, or perhaps it was the rustling of all the trash that he had been gathering, but either way, Reno hadn’t noticed it had started raining.  He looked around the sky, almost as if confused by the rain’s presence.  As soon as his eyes laid on the steam-covered windows of the familiar white car, his thoughts turned back to Rufus.  It was hard to see him, but he could make out his figure.  It was hunched over the steering wheel, and at that moment, Reno knew exactly how serious things were.  He ran to the car, ignoring the rain and how heavy it was coming down.  As he reached it, he slid over the hood and landed, now drenched.  Without hesitation, he grabbed the handle of the driver’s side door and flung the door open.  The sight he saw there, he never wanted to see again.

_Hate me today_  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things  
I didn’t do for you 

Rufus very quickly sprung his head up, his red, tear-soaked eyes now looking bewildered at the red-head before him.  Had he really driven to Reno’s apartment?  Was this really Reno before him?  And if it was, why did he look so upset?  Rufus’s head swam with confusing questions and doubt, about everything; even if he was really Rufus Shinra.  He wanted to close the door and put the cold, wet metal between the two of them.  He wanted to get away, far away, where Reno would never find him.  He wanted…he wanted…  With another wild sob, Rufus almost sprung from the car, wrapping his arms around the man holding the door of the white car.  “Reno!  Oh god, Reno…”  But he was quickly hushed by the lips of the red-head.

_Hate me in ways_  
Yeah in ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally  
See what’s good for you 

Reno had picked up his boss once he was calmed down a bit and carried him into the apartment.  The short journey had soaked them both, but neither seemed to mind too much.  Reno placed Rufus on the couch and made his way to the bathroom to retrieve a towel for his soaked blonde.  Upon his return, his heart sunk once again to see that it was more than just rain water that was flowing down Rufus’s face.  It seemed that he had begun to cry again once he realized exactly WHERE he was.  The red-head quickly went to the side of his partner and slipped between his legs as he-himself sat on the floor on his knees.  “Rufus, please…St--”  But his words were cut off by another sob escaping the blonde’s body.  Reno tossed the towel aside and took Rufus’s face in his hands, gently wiping the fresh tears from under his eyes and his cheeks.  He didn’t like this, not one bit; and to tell the truth, it made him panic.  Rufus never got this upset, even when his own father died.  “Please, Rufus!”  He urged the blonde to stop crying, but the more he asked, the more Rufus cried.  It finally hit Reno hard enough and he slowly lowered his head into the blonde’s lap, his arms weakly drooping on the blonde’s body.  “What can I do?  What can I do to make it all go away?  To make you smile?  For things to go back to how they were?!”  These words hit a chord in Rufus and he finally managed to stop crying long enough to mumble out, “Why?  Just tell me why?”

_And with a sad heart_  
I say bye to you and wave  
Kicking shadows in the street  
For every mistake that I had made  
And like a baby boy I never was a man  
‘Til I saw you blue eyes cry  
And held your face in my hand  
And then I fell down yelling, “MAKE IT GO AWAY!”  
Just make her smile; Come back and shine  
Just like it used to be  
And she whispered, “How could you do this to me?” 

Reno kept his head in Rufus’s lap as he spoke, “I’m sorry.  I…I didn’t know you’d get so upset.  It…was just a joke.”  Rufus couldn’t help but smile a little bit as Reno confessed.  He finally looked down and his feelings were reassured by seeing a few tears roll across the red-head’s cheeks.  Rufus leaned over and picked up the towel that Reno had brought for him, opened it and dropped it over the wet red hair that was in his lap.  He wasn’t really listening to what the man was saying as he began to towel dry his hair.  All he knew was that he loved this man who was crying in his lap, however stupid he just might be at times.

_Hate me today_  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things  
I didn’t do for you 

And Reno had just kept talking as Rufus dried his hair.  He was used to it, but he looked up when the blonde had stopped.  He was surprised to see a smile on his face, though, at that point, he knew.  He just knew.  He wasn’t really sure what he knew, but whatever it was, he knew it.  He pushed himself up a bit, wanting to be held by Rufus as he wrapped his arms around the blonde’s waist.  Rufus, in turn, gently draped his arms around Reno, still smiling sweetly.  “It’s a hard lesson,” Reno heard the blond say and he nodded in response.  But he didn’t want to hear talking anymore; he just wanted to be held…talking would only add salt to the wound.

_Hate me in ways_  
Yeah, in ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally  
See what’s good for you 

Neither one had realized that they had fallen asleep on the couch until Reno’s phone began to ring.  It was Rufus who opened his eyes and attempted to get up and answer it.  However, he was stopped by the weight of Reno, who was still in his lap.  He just smiled and closed his eyes while he listened to the ringing and Reno’s voice echo through the semi-cleaned apartment.  Rufus pulled the red-head on to the couch and on top of him as the answering machine beeped, allowing the caller to leave a message.  It was Tseng.  “Reno, I hope you’ve learned something from this!”  Apparently, Tseng knew what was going on.  This just made Rufus smile a little more as he looked at the sleeping man in his arms.  Reno wouldn’t wake for almost anything.  As Rufus snuggled back down into the soft couch, wrapping his arms around his partner, he placed a kiss on his forehead, whispering a soft, “I love you,” and quickly falling back asleep.  However, it was these words…these soft spoken and barely audible words that aroused Reno just enough from his sleep.  He slowly opened an eye, peeking up at the blonde whose arms he was in.  Never would he risk giving up this beautiful man who cared so much for him.  He softly cuddled himself into Rufus, gripping on to the jacket that the blonde hadn’t bothered taking off.  A smile spread across his lips as he quietly spoke, “Thank you, Rufus,” and once again allowed himself to be taken into his deep slumber.

_(I can’t believe you actually picked me.  Thanks, Justin!)_  



End file.
